You Mean Nothing
You mean nothing,
You are all a hunk of squishy junk,
Your sense of self is purely scientific.
You are literally nothing.
You mean nothing.
Your mother holding you after your grandmother died whispering these things
happen
and you were forced to dig inside
yourself to find peace and serenity is purely
scientific.
Your memories of lying on the floor next to your brother’s bed while
he whispered
Are you awake? Don’t fall
asleep, brother, not just yet is purely scientific.
Your father crying after finding you alive and simply lost on a beach when
you were
three because in his heart he thought
you were dead is purely scientific.
Your best friend losing his mind to genetics and finding you on a lonely
night to
express his thoughts of love and chaos
and madness to later end himself
all over the bathroom floor in his one
bedroom apartment is purely scientific.
Your sister entering your room after your ninth birthday party nobody
attended to ask
if you wanted a c heeseburger and
a coke is purely scientific.
Your friend escaping a broken home to the loving arms of your father who
says nobody
is beyond love a nd that all a
boy needs is an ear to survive is purely scientific.
Your brother’s deathly illness bringing him close to a God you don’t
quite understand,
and yet when he apeaks
about Heaven and Hell you nod and listen and hold
your head proud – that is
purely scientific.
Your aging father climbing the stairs by himself and crawling into bed
saying another
day while your aging
mother, small and weak, pretends to be asleep and prays
for balance is purely
scientific.
Your autistic son staring you into the eyes and simply saying he loves you
is purely
scientific.
Your drug addict cousin standing alone on a street corner when a man offers
him coke
for cheap and he nods his sunken head,
full of want, and says not today is purely
scientific.
Your ex-drug addict uncle standing in front of a room with 16 years of
sobriety under
his belt and telling them life is
nothing but a gauge of love from those who
surround us is purely scientific.
Your next step is purely scientific.
Your father entering your room alone late at night after catching you with
pot to say
that the way he sees it is that
you either mold your own heart or allow others
to do it for you is purely scientific.
Your mother finding a recording of her long-dead father’s voice singing
“Let’s go Fly a
Kite" and wishing his daughter
health and prosperity is purely scientific.
Your paradigm of life being challenged by a good movie is purely
scientific.
Your first thoughts of fatherhood as the child crowns and your wife screams
and you
think this is really it and that you
can't even throw your laundry in the hamper,
so how in the fuck are you going to
raise a child, and your wife squeezes your
hand with clenched teeth and you find
yourself whispering everything will work
out, everything will be ok is purely
scientific.
Your first born growing up to not be totally fucked up in the head is
purely scientific.
And then you see life changing and growing and rapidly expanding
and your spot in the universe seasons into a taste that's old and
suffering.
The world's pace quickens and you slow down
until finally you return to the Earth.
You probably wouldn't understand because it's purely scientific.
You mean nothing,
You are all a hunk of squishy junk,
Your sense of self is purely scientific.
You are literally nothing.
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