Sunday, August 25, 2013

You Mean Nothing.

You Mean Nothing


You mean nothing,

You are all a hunk of squishy junk,

Your sense of self is purely scientific.

You are literally nothing.


You mean nothing.



Your mother holding you after your grandmother died whispering these things happen

       and you were forced to dig inside yourself to find peace and serenity is purely



 Your memories of lying on the floor next to your brother’s bed while he whispered

       Are you awake? Don’t fall asleep, brother, not just yet is purely scientific.


Your father crying after finding you alive and simply lost on a beach when you were

       three because in his heart he thought you were dead is purely scientific.


Your best friend losing his mind to genetics and finding you on a lonely night to

       express his thoughts of love and chaos and madness to later end himself

       all over the bathroom floor in his one bedroom apartment is purely scientific.


Your sister entering your room after your ninth birthday party nobody attended to ask

       if you wanted a c heeseburger and a coke is purely scientific.


Your friend escaping a broken home to the loving arms of your father who says nobody

       is beyond love a nd that all a boy needs is an ear to survive is purely scientific.


Your brother’s  deathly illness bringing him close to a God you don’t quite understand,

        and yet when he  apeaks about Heaven and Hell you nod and listen and hold

        your head proud – that is purely  scientific.


Your aging father climbing the stairs by himself and crawling into bed saying another

        day while your  aging mother, small and weak, pretends to be asleep and prays

        for balance is purely scientific.


Your autistic son staring you into the eyes and simply saying he loves you is purely



Your drug addict cousin standing alone on a street corner when a man offers him coke

       for cheap and he nods his sunken head, full of want, and says not today is purely



Your ex-drug addict uncle standing in front of a room with 16 years of sobriety under

       his belt and telling them life is nothing but a gauge of love from those who

       surround us is purely scientific.


Your next step is purely scientific.


Your father entering your room alone late at night after catching you with pot to say

       that the way he sees it is that you either mold your own heart or allow others

       to do it for you is purely scientific.


Your mother finding a recording of her long-dead father’s voice singing “Let’s go Fly a

       Kite" and wishing his daughter health and prosperity is purely scientific.


Your paradigm of life being challenged by a good movie is purely scientific.


Your first thoughts of fatherhood as the child crowns and your wife screams and you

       think this is really it and that you can't even throw your laundry in the hamper,

       so how in the fuck are you going to raise a child, and your wife squeezes your

       hand with clenched teeth and you find yourself whispering everything will work

       out, everything will be ok is purely scientific.


Your first born growing up to not be totally fucked up in the head is purely scientific.


And then you see life changing and growing and rapidly expanding

and your spot in the universe seasons into a taste that's old and suffering.


The world's pace quickens and you slow down

until finally you return to the Earth.


You probably wouldn't understand because it's purely scientific.


You mean nothing,

You are all a hunk of squishy junk,

Your sense of self is purely scientific.

You are literally nothing.

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